If we ask ourselves whether we have loved anyone we would quickly say 'Yes' to it. We do not want to deny that we do not Love anyone as we continue to maintain some relationship with our relatives, family, friends and many others. But then, why would we get into some kind of quarrel with any of the above loved ones and would end up in breaking the relationship, which might even result in enmity? With the mediation of some other loved ones we might try to revive the broken relationship but then we are not sure how long the renewed relationship would last. On some other occasion we might not succeed in reviving it at all no matter who mediates. Such being the situation of the way we maintain our relationships with others, if we ask ourselves once again do we have 'Real Love' towards anyone then we would fail to give a convincing answer. This is partly because we might not know what 'Real Love' is and partly because our inner consciousness would remind us that we need to love more or our love needs to be stronger somehow. Sometimes we would try to justify our stand saying others are also like us only and hence we are like this.
In this materialistic world we normally express or develop some love towards others because of two reasons. One, because we are dependent on others for some gain or because of our own helpless situation. Second, because we are afraid of something going against our interest if we do not show our love. So, this kind of love appears to be a 'conditional Love'. In fact, most of us possess or pretend to express this conditional love only. It doesn't mean that the real love doesn't exist in this world at all. If we try to understand about it with calmness in mind we can definitely succeed because we feel that we have some idea about what should be our love towards our god. Only thing is that we have never cared to have a complete idea about it and nor we have tried sincerely to develop such a love within us. We have heard about Radha's love towards Krishna, Shabari's love towards Rama, the love shown by any mother towards her child, etc. This kind of love is devo id of the two reasons we saw above – because of material gain and because of the fear. We have heard about such a love while listening to discourses from many religious Gurus. But still we have not tried to develop a concrete understanding about it and hence we cannot exhibit it.
We someone asks us to define or describe the 'Real Love' or just 'Love' we find it rather difficult to do so. It is a sentiment and cannot be measured in some form or cannot be equated to some other unit or object. It can only be explained in terms of our relationship or interaction with others or with nature. Before embarking on this task let us look at the kind of relationship we normally have with others.
If we say that we love our parents then why do start living separately after sometime, especially after we get married, even though our parents are old and hence need our support? Why do we even quarrel with our parents because of any petty issues that might crop up in the family? Even after staying separately from our parents how often do we go and see them and enquire about their health and happiness? We might just send some money to them regularly and feel proud about it but why do we have to think that money would bring all the happiness to our parents? Is this our Real Love? Even if we possess the Real Love, in our own understanding, towards our parents do we show the same love with any other old couples? Are we not selfish even in exhibiting the Real Love? In that case can we admit that it is the Real Love? Then what is 'The Real Love'?
If we say that we love our children so much then why do we beat them whenever they indulge in some mischiefs or some wrong doings instead of sitting with them and reminding them of their mistakes and why they should not do such things and how they should behave everywhere, etc.,? When they express their desire to study some subject and continue in that direction why do we oppose them and try to force them to take up some other courses of our interest like engineering, medicals, etc.,? When they fall in love with their partners and express a strong desire to get married why do we oppose it on the grounds of caste, religion, status, colour, etc., without trying to recognize the true love they might be having? Are we potting a condition to them in order to get our love? Is this our Real Love?
we say that we love our wives so much then why do we oppose them or even quarrel with them whenever they express willingness to visit their parents' house or whenever they want to buy something they like very much or whenever they want to go out for higher studies or for job, etc.,? Why we do not dedicate some of our time and effort to spend with them and understand their interests and needs but instead we try to enforce our own interests and treat them as secondary citizens in the family? Why do we not try to sort out any issue with our wives but instead take the matter to court and plead for divorce? Is this our Real Love?
If we say that we love our friends very much then why do we hesitate to provide either moral support or monetary support whenever they are in bad need of but instead we try to avoid them giving reasons of our own family issues or any other lame excuses? Why do we hesitate to set aside some of our time and effort to visit them whenever they are hospitalized? Why do we pick up petty reasons to quarrel with them and decide to break up the friendship? Why do we feel jealous of them when they start earning hands some money and move up in their career or whenever they build a big house or go abroad and earn lot of money, etc.,? Is this our Real Love?
If we say that we have utmost devotion and love towards our spiritual Guru then why often fail to follow his teachings? Why do we pretend that we respect him by falling on his feet or buying many books written by him but not reading any of them or donating money to him regularly thereby pretending that we are very much interested in social service? Why do we fail to heed to his request to go away on public discourses or for any other social services but instead give lame excuses and stay at home? Is this our Real Love?
If we say that we love people around us then why we often hesitate to participate in social work or rehabilitation work whenever some natural calamities occur or someone has met with a fatal accident but we do not go and try to donate either our blood or donate some money? Why do we hesitate to mediate and try to stop whenever two people or two groups are fighting or when some criminal is trying to attack a helpless person? Why do we not care for our neighbours whenever there is some family dispute and we hear lot of crying and shouting of even whenever there is a robbery? Why do we beat children or rag pickers or any other beggars whenever they indulge in small thefts? Is this our Real Love?
If we say that we love our nation very much then why do we resort to spreading negative perceptions in others' mind that our country is very poor, there is lot of corruption, there is lot of casteism, our roads are very dirty, etc., when we are staying in some foreign countries? Why do we develop hatred with people belonging to other religions or lower castes? Why do we not participate effectively in social programs such as environment pollution control, poverty eradication, mass education drives, distribution of food, books, clothes, etc., to poor children or poor hospital inmates? Why do we spend huge money to get seats in schools and colleges even if we do not have merit while there are other poor children who are unable to pay the fee but are having merit? Why do we indulge in all sort of corrupt practices to get a government job or promotion, or permissions thereby spoiling the entire public system? Is this our Real Love?
If we say that we love nature very much then why do we resort to or encourage the felling of trees, why do we kill forest animals and birds, why do we pollute rivers in many ways, why do we pollute the atmosphere by burning tires, vehicles, etc., during protests? Why are we encouraging scientific inventions that eventually result in the accumulation of solid waste on our planet or why are we not taking adequate steps to eradicate solid wastes? Why do we keep on dumping our routine waste products at some places and not taking adequate measures to clear them regularly? Is this our Real Love?
If we say that we are true devotees of Lord Shiva or Lord Vishnu or Lord Ganesh, etc., then why are we not trying to understand what is true devotion, who is God, what does he expect from us, how can we see God or perceive his presence, etc.,? But instead why do we indulge in believing or following just the rituals as stated in our religion or as ordered by our religious leaders spending thousands of money, building big temples, donating huge amount of money, gold and silver to temples, etc., while there are millions of poor and disabled persons in our country who are deprived of basic necessities of life? We claim that our home God or Kuladevaru is either Shiva or Kali or Ganesh, etc., but we go on worshipping many other Gods as well in order to fulfill our endless desires and get rid of so many fears in life? We claim that we respect Vedas, Upanishads, Bhagavadh Geetha, etc., but why do we blindly keep going behind different sadhus and god men listening to what they preach and attending to many satsangs instead of trying to understand the real message given in all those holy scripts and adopt them in our life? Is this our Real Love?
Like this we can go on picking up many instances where we would have miserably failed to live up to our own consciousness and beliefs in life. If we really try to find an answer to all the questions raised above, probably we can definitely understand what 'Real Love' is. The 'Real Love' is a beautiful manifestation of all the attributes like Love, Sacrifice, Compassion, Forgiveness, Devotion, Respect, etc., in the manner in which there is no provision for any kind of condition or expectation. This kind of love has to originate within us by itself and cannot be produced artificially in our heart due to any external compulsions. This is the kind of Love we all need to possess in our heart where God is believed to reside always. If we love our God in true sense then 'service' would become our 'Kaayaka'.
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