Source: sepiaprocess.com
Sil Lai Abrams, journalist, domestic abuse advocate and founder of Truth In Reality, doesn't have any grand delusions that people will completely tune out of reality television. Nor is she really looking to shame anyone with a moralist message about virtue and respectability.
With that said, she does believe that reality television is creating a narrative around womanhood, particularly Black womanhood, that is both damaging and dangerous.
And through the Redefining HERstory Campus Social Action Program and Education Tour, Abrams is looking to inspire young people to – at the very least – think critically about what they are consuming.
On her campus tour, which began late last month at Grambling University and will be making its second stop tonight at 7 p.m at Kent State University tonight (Kiva Auditorium). The aim is media literacy. And during tonight's event Abrams says she is looking to engage students in conversation on how sexist and racist stereotypes sometimes play themselves out on many of these shows.
After the event, the conversation will continue online for weekly #RealityInTV Twitter chats, where Abrams along with guest experts and media personalities including Roland Martin, discuss topics related to rape culture and institutional oppression, sexism in the media and male accountability. And it will continue on campuses as well, with watch parties and guest speakers, who will drive home messages related to anti-violence and women empowerment.
While the aim is to raise awareness and to alert young adults in particular to what she believes are destructive themes, the ultimate goal is to get young people, particularly young Black women to create counter narratives of their own to what they see in the media.
"Since folks are going to be watching it anyway, you might as well watch it and analyze it with them. It's not about shaming or passing judgment. But as media consumers, you have to know what you're watching and what the potential impact is having on how you view situations in real life," said Abrams.
Like violence against women.
As Abrams suggest, the fairly recent rise in smack down and drag out relationship-themed reality television, like "The Bad Girls Club" and the entire "Love & Hip Hop" franchise, has created a narrative, which appears to both condone and normalize Black love steeped in violence and dysfunction. We laugh, mock and make snarky comments about how these women "deserve it" on social media, but rarely do we consider the context.
Like Mimi Faust from the wildly popular "Love & Hip Hop Atlanta," who was stuck for 16 years in a traumatic relationship with music producer and fellow cast member Stevie J. Many people ridiculed her for staying in a clearly emotionally manipulative and abusive relationship for so long. However rarely did anyone consider that prior to landing a spot on the series, it was likely Faust was a pretty economically insecure single mother and that alone made her more susceptible to Stevie J's exploits.
And then there was the much publicized domestic abuse incident involving former "Basketball Wives" stars Chad Johnson and Evelyn Lozada. Since Lozada was known for jumping on tables and basically bullying her fellow "wives" on the show, viewers had trouble seeing her as a victim in her real life relationship with the former football star.
"Basically most of the commentary around these incidences sided with the abuser and her perceived lack of proper behavior and decorum were viewed as the culprit. That is a direct result of conditioning," said Abrams, laying out the connection between reality television and abuse. "There is extensive research, which suggests the viewing of violent images against women increase male aggression towards women. So these reality television shows, which feature violent images of women of color are contributing to the normalization and reinforcing of negative stereotypes that men who are violent or predisposed to violence use to justify and rationalize their abuse."
There is also more nefarious correlation stemming from these images, which has little to do with abuse, said Abrams. In particular, the White gaze. She recalled a friend's story about being in Eastern Europe and being confused with "Real Housewives of Atlanta" television star NeNe Leakes – in spite of looking nothing like her.
"It was the only point of reference they have for a Black American woman. So we have to remember that for lots of people, who never come into contact with Black people, this is the only narrative that they see. And that shapes perceptions of us," she said.
Abrams said that she is no stranger to the lives lived by many of the characters on these reality programs (you can watch this short tour promo clip, which explains more her personal story). Her past includes being a former high school drop out, who struggled with an alcohol dependency issue before going into modeling and eventually the music industry, She was also a single mother with little education as well as a survivor of sexual assault and violence. Those vulnerabilities are the major reasons why she does not sit in judgment of their choices.
But she is concerned about whether or not, these images, which are highly edited, filtered and even scripted, are really letting us see these women's full humanity or are these women just caricatures, being exploited for cheap entertainment. "There is a lack of balance in the portrayed. When go across all media, we are portrayed as centers around historical racist stereotypes which have been recycled and rehashed for entertainment today," she said.
With violence infiltrating every aspect of popular culture and media including sports, film and music, It's hard to say if the onus of these negative images lands squarely at the feet of Mona Scott Young. However Abrams is certain that violence has been a driving narrative of young women, between 18 to 49. She notes that "Love & Hip Hop" is tied for number three in ratings besides WWF wrestling.
"So when the top shows we consume are centered around patriarchy and pushing patriarchal themes, it's easy to see how abuse is normalized and even how this culture of rape is shaped. That's why it is imperative that we address the young people, particularly women, to let them know that this sort of behavior is not okay."
Although a final itinerary has not been finalized, Abrams said the Redefining HERstory tour will be making a number of stops on campuses across the country. She also hopes to work with local organizations in vulnerable communities to reach out to even younger-aged women and men.
In the meantime, Abrams is offering a free downloadable media kit, which was created by developmental psychologist Dr. Scyatta Wallace of JANISAW, a consulting company specializing in leadership development and life skills programs for teen girls and young women, to help educators, youth counselors and other folks have similar conversations with young people in their own communities.
"Even before we take action, first we need people to understand that there is a problem. And then you have to engage them and then they have to become personally invested in the issue. Because what we are talking about here is personal agency. We can't say that we want greater and more varied public images of Black women and women of color in the media, if we keep supporting those images we don't want."
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