The Biggest Difference Between True Love And The Love You’re Used To

A guy ponders the difference between 'true' love and plain old love.

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Have you ever stopped to wonder what the difference is between love and true love?

Getting a distinct definition for either isn't an easy task. It seems a bit silly that we should feel the need to create a word for something that is more perfect than love when love is believed to be the purest and most perfect of all things.

Logically, differentiating between love and true love doesn't make sense. However, our language is a complicated one. We use words like "true," "really" and "completely" to add emphasis when, in reality, they do little more than color the original word a slightly different shade – supposedly a brighter one.

Regardless, it is generally accepted that while love can be fleeting, true love is everlasting. Personally, I don't like this differentiation whatsoever. Love is love is true love – there is no difference other than how you treat it.

You see, true love and love are really the same thing. What sets them apart are the ways you yourselves label the way you feel about each other. I'll give in to this semantic slight of hand and play along.

If there really is a difference between love as you know it and true love, what is that difference? Well, for starters, it's not quite as giving as you've been taught it is.

True love is just as much egocentric as it is selfless. Forget for a second all that you've been told about love, about all that you've seen in movies, about all that you've read in novels or in magazines.

Forget about what pop culture taught you and consider the reality of it. If you were lucky enough to fall in love then you'd know it. If you had to question whether or not you loved someone then the answer is that you didn't.

You would know very well if you were in love because when you're in love you, literally, need the other person. When that person isn't by your side you, you wish he or she was.

The difference, however, is that you will not feel this need constantly. This hunger will be satiated and will reemerge over time spent apart. Nevertheless, you will feel that you need this person to feel satisfied, to feel comfortable and happy.

When you're in love, in true love, the apple of your eye is the solution to your problems.

You may have noticed that all this mentioned above is about you and not your partner. You need your partner. You want your partner. You are hungry. Love is a very egotistical experience – whoever tells you otherwise is full of it.

At the same time, because you take such ownership of that person, you also feel a need to care for him or her. You feel a need to keep this person happy, to keep this person satisfied and to keep this person loving you.

You want to care for your partner as you'd care for yourself because, in a sense, you feel that this person is an extension of you. You are doing all this just as much for yourself as you are for him or her. You genuinely care about this person, but you likewise care about what he or she can do for you and how he or she makes you feel.

Love is by no means a completely selfless act – so get that concept out of your head as soon as possible.

True love isn't a hole you fall into – it's a mountain you climb every day of your life. It's a decision you make and continue to make day, after day, after day.

Again, I have trouble differentiating between love and true love – I see them as the same thing. People like to separate the two, claiming that true love is the love that lasts forever.

I'm here to tell you that nothing – literally nothing – lasts forever.

True love can die just as quickly as can love or anything else. If you want love to work then you're going to have to work for it. Love only stays alive if you keep breathing life into it, resuscitating it every time it begins to wither away, the flame going out.

You can't just fall into love and call it a day. The moment you find the person you love is the beginning of your journey – not the end. It will take work and dedication to make your partnership special.

People too often take the hard work required to truly love for granted. You have to keep on climbing that mountain day after day, hoping that you never reach the peak because once you do, it's all downhill.

True love doesn't actually have any limits – it has no peaks. Unfortunately, love does have a tendency of crumbling away nonetheless.

Most of us are complete idiots when it comes to love, setting rules and limits for ourselves as if any actually existed. There is no limit to how much you can love and care for another individual. As long as the two of you have another hour together, you can push that love a little further.

True love doesn't exist in the moment, in the present. True love is a story that is written over years and decades; it is refined, retouched and refurbished along the way.

True love is looking back at your life and realizing that you loved this person with all your heart from the moment you met to the moment you inevitably parted.

True love is built over a lifetime. Its only real limits are those imposed by nature itself.

Originally appeared at Elite Daily

Photo Elite Daily

 About the author: A young writer, philosopher, and entrepreneur, Paul Hudson has been writing for Elite Daily nearly since the start. Currently located in Manhattan, Paul Hudson primarily devotes his time between writing for Elite Daily and the two entrepreneurial endeavors he is currently pursuing: a mining company in Turkey and a video content platform called lilHub. He loves sharing his life experiences with his readers and makes sure to practice what he preaches.