10 Tips To Have Better Relationships With Everyone In Your Life ~ The unveiling of a man the soul of a woman

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

10 Tips To Have Better Relationships With Everyone In Your Life

We are all guilty of taking people in our lives for granted, whether they're our colleagues, family members, or friends. It can be easy to stop making the extra effort when you see them day after day, but what if we started making small gestures that showed them how much they mean to us instead?

Alan Zimmerman, a leadership and communications expert who gives speeches to large and small organizations, has some great tips to help you build stronger relationships with everyone in your life.

Whether you want a better rapport with your next-cubicle-over colleague, are looking for a new job, or even feel like you and your sibling have been drifting apart, taking the time to pay more attention to how people feel when they're with you can make all the difference.

Check out Zimmerman's suggestions for some small actions you should make routine in order to better your relationships this year.

"Whether you are passing someone in the hall, entering a meeting room, or greeting a friend at dinner, say the other person's name. Instead of merely saying 'Good morning,' say 'Good morning, Bill.' It makes the other person feel important, and we all want that," advises leadership and communications expert Alan Zimmerman.
"Successful people grab lunch with friends and colleagues. As career coach Anita Attridge tells 'Forbes' magazine, 'Lunch is an excellent time to continue to build relationships and network with others.' Once again it tells the other person that he or she is important because you are making time for them," says Zimmerman.
"Everybody is busy these days, and many people are crazy busy. So if you ask for 10 minutes of someone's time for a brief conversation, stick to your agreement. Don't go past your 10 minutes unless the other person gives you permission to go on. That way the other person will look forward to talking to you rather than dreading it."
What people don't say is often as important as what they say, says Zimmerman. "Look for signs that may indicate the person is losing interest or becoming impatient, and adjust your conversation to be more sensitive to his or her needs, expectations or time constraints."
"Knowing all about the Kardashians, who is in the finals of "Dancing With The Stars," and what NFL player is in trouble now will not help you get ahead in your professional networks. Consume your actual real-world news in whatever form you choose, and be familiar and conversant in local, national and international politics and events," advises Zimmerman.
"In the book 'You Can't Do It Alone: Building Relationships for Career Success,' Glass and Brody say, 'Mirror the personality and behavioural style of the person with whom you are meeting.' In other words, does he or she want the big picture or the details? Does he or she speak quickly or slowly? Does the person want to spend more time on small talk or get right down to business? Honour the other person's preferences if at all possible," says Zimmerman.
You want to get a little philosophical about your relationships too. "As human relations expert Anthony Robbins points out, 'Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they're trying to find someone who's going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take,'" says Zimmerman.
Put your gratitude into a physical product, says Zimmerman. "If you've arranged a special meeting with someone, follow up that meeting with a thank-you note. Send a handwritten note thanking the person for taking the time to meet with you. Send greeting cards ... birthday, holiday, congratulations, and sympathy cards. Very few people practice this so-called "common courtesy" anymore, so your note automatically puts you in the top tier of thoughtful, appreciative, professional people."
"If it's been a while since you've spoken to the other person, ask, "What's new?" and be genuinely interested in his or her answer. Notice items displayed in their offices; ask about their weekend. Learn about his or her hobbies and interests and ask about them. Most people appreciate being the centre of your attention," Zimmerman notes.
"Learn about the problems and issues the other person has to deal with. Find solutions. When you learn the other person needs a service, offer to connect the person to your resources (i.e. travel agents, nanny service, etc.). It may be as simple as saying, 'I heard you say that you are looking for a new personal accountant. I'm really happy with the person I'm using. Would you like me to connect the two of you?' Or offer to drive the other person to a meeting you are both attending," Zimmerman says.