- Do you always go for the wrong men but have the most perfect pet?
- Love expert Dr Annie Kaszina points out parallels between dogs and men
- She reveals 10 things to look for when choosing a pet or a partner
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Do you always go for the wrong men, but have the most perfect pet? Then this relationship advice may be for you.
A leading love expert has suggested there are parallels between picking the perfect partner and the way you choose your dog.
Author and relationship coach Dr Annie Kaszina Ph.D - who is the first to admit she has her own chequered relationship history - discovered that by applying these principles she could finally make the right choices.
Do you always go for the wrong men but have the most perfect pet? Love expert Dr Annie Kaszina (pictured) says there are parallels between picking the perfect partner and the way you choose your dog.
When Annie met Orlandino it was love at first sight: the big brown eyes, the irresistible looks, the knack he had of making her laugh.
But sadly, he wasn't a keeper. Beneath that charming exterior lay some unsavoury habits and a difficult and a very demanding personality.
Orlandino was the dog from hell.
What Annie learned from that encounter set her on the path to becoming a women's relationship coach.
She learned her lesson , chose her second dog - and her current lovely partner - with a lot more care, and has since taught hundreds of women simple ways to spot the right man for them, using her pet as the template.
Now Annie shares ten of her tips with Femail readers, inspired by her new book, entitled Do You Choose Your Dog More Carefully Than Your Husband?, which comes out on Valentine's Day.
1. Temperament is king
Mean, moody, and magnificent may sound exciting… So, too, may the idea of taking on a challenge, or 'taming' someone 'wild'.
Unfortunately, they lead to hard work relationships; and hard work relationships lead to emotional exhaustion and breakdown.
Better to look for someone sunny and sweet-natured.
Think about the way a date projects himself on first meeting and beyond. Why would pessimi sm or negativity be an aphrodisiac?
Snarliness towards waiters, children, and anyone outside the charmed circle of you and your date is a bad sign of things to come - same goes for dogs! Good manners are paramount
2. Check the pedigree
Obviously, this is simpler with dogs than it is with people, and can't be settled on a first date. But then Rome wasn't built in a day, and nor should relationships be.
You can listen to the way they talk about parents, family members, and friends.
If they come across as Billy-no-mates, there is cause for concern.
3. Beware yappiness
Unless you're okay with saddling yourself with Mr I'm Great, Mr Alpha Male, Mr In Love With The Sound of His Own Voice, or Mr Life and Soul of the Party, be careful of over-talkers.
Incessant talking on a first date may be a sign of nerves, but also a lack of interest in the other person and a lack of social skills.
They need to take an interest in you too (This holds just as true for Strong, Silent Types).
Asking non-intrusive questions is not rocket science.
You want someone not just to have fun with, but someone who's fun to be around
4. Good manners
This goes without saying. But it's not limited to table manners.
Snarliness towards waiters, children, and anyone outside the charmed circle of you and your date is a bad sign of things to come.
Selective good manners actually suggest that those manners are not deeply ingrained and may soon melt away.
5. Over-exuberance
Pushy does not mean keen. It means pushy.
First date pushiness is the sign of someone who doesn't respect boundaries and will end up pushing you into emotional corners.
6. Good behaviour
Many a woman who has overlooked a little first date leering - at other women - has lived to rue the day.
You have standards for how you would dress and behave on a first date. Your date should, too.
If your date's behaviour violates yo ur standards in any way that's a clear sign that you could be in for a rough ride.
7. Docility
You want your date to be sensitive and responsive to your wishes.
Choosing your meal for you, unasked, or making decisions for you without consulting you is a clear sign of wanting to be top dog.
Do you want to be reduced to playing Bottom Dog?
8. Playfulness
You want someone not just to have fun with, but someone who's fun to be around.
That doesn't necessarily mean someone who acts like a kid - what long-term kids are actually looking for i s second mummies. You want someone who you feel comfortable enough around to be silly with.
9. Beware rogue breeders
If you've been single for a while, friends may take it upon themselves to set you up with 'lovely dates'.
Just because they find that date 'lovely' in the context in which they know them doesn't mean you will.
You wouldn't buy a house just on the say-so of Mrs B loggs three doors down.
You always have to do your own due diligence.
10. Leave the paperwork at home
Women are terrible at playing 'Fantasy Future' - they go on a first date and, provided the man isn't an obvious freak or psychopathic monster, they get busy imagining their future life with that person.
A first date is not designed to be a marriage contract., it's simply the start of getting to know another person.
If you find yourself fantasising about that happy future, take a cold shower, or speak to a grounded friend.
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